MTV reality star Farrah Abraham is opening up about her deep struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. Two years after welcoming daughter Sophia, the Teen Mom regular says, “All I could think about was killing myself.”

Not just thoughts though, Farrah went so far as to make a plan. She tells InTouch, “I figured I would drown myself in the bathtub — that seemed like the easiest way to go.”

“I pictured telling her that I missed her daddy, and that I felt overwhelmed by the changes in my life,” Farrah went on to share of what she would tell Sophia, “and that she deserved the best and should be surrounded by happiness.”

After being diagnosed as clinically depressed, starting medication and going to therapy, Teen Mom Farrah was able to see things from a different perspective. “I realized I was being selfish,” she explained. “The most important thing is making sure that [Sophia’s] well taken care of — how am I going to do that if I’m dead?”

My Teenage Dream Ended, written by Farrah Abraham about her struggles, is due out August 14 on Amazon.com.

photo: Farrah Abraham Facebook